Am Tired

Am tired

Am tired.

Am tired of wearing a fake smile every day pretending that I don’t cry myself to sleep almost every night.

Am tired of having to avoid each and every single thing that may push me off the edge of my mind.

Am tired of all the discussions and the details that I always fail to notice

Am tired of having a fake life, fake actions, fake smiles, fake hopes and fake beliefs.

Am tired of trying to have more patience, holding on and barely feel a relief

Am tired of my fences, that fail me every couple of days and drop down

Am tired of being lost, not belonging, loneliness, and feeling ignored

I don’t belong

I don’t belong neither here nor there

I don’t belong where I expected or anywhere

I don’t belong for a decade, I don’t belong for a lifetime

But it feels like a sentence for my very own crime

Am not the same person

Am not the person you thought I were,

Am not the same person you saw before, I change everyday and my vision is blur

Am not the same person and it never felt fair

And god am tired of being… here.

Thing is, too much lying will soon drive you insane, doubting everyone around you and every single action they may or may not do.